Dear Fellow Artists,

Stoogie wuns too no iff'n dere iz inny bwogs owt dere bi peepuls dat wurk wif ole peepul.

Sose iff'n yu werks wif ole peepul ore yu nose sumwon woo doos, end dey wite abowts itt own de innurnit, wite mees end lets mee nose.

So fur eye jiss has gut anuddur emale frum Kwak, butt diss time ets abowit hiss papur wowt.

Hear gose:

"[Dear Ratgirl Sumding,

"Thanks for including my letter in your blog. It made me feel special. I'm going to send you that twenty dollars as soon as my mother gets out of prison.]

"I searched the [local paper] high and low for news of our newly granted authority to rule the country recently liberated, but found none and wasn't surprised by its absence.

"And despite ending the evening with four papers in my car the night before last (I'm supposed to end with only two), no errors were reported last night. The night before that, I ended with the requisite two, but a mistake was reported. Last night, I ended with three. My bet is that a mistake will be reported (or maybe not, as once again we were 'saturating' -- we'll be 'saturating' tonight as well, and then I get to do the Sunday paper, which will make things even more interesting -- the Monday paper should be a piece of cake, though, compared with what I've been doing and will be doing).

"Last night, as I was wheeling my papers to my car, [Khakipants], the supervisor, accosted me and let me know that I was supposed to deliver my [BSL]3s and [BSL]4s tonight (those being individuals' abodes that get the paper only three or four days a week). It took me a moment to register what he meant, and this actually seemed to shock him, for he said, 'You looked like you didn't know what I was talking about.' I felt like telling him, 'It's four-o'clock in the morning, I only got four hours sleep, and I've been mindlessly folding papers for the last 45 minutes,' but I figured it wouldn't matter. So I just told him it was all on me, it just took me a minute to understand what he was saying.

"And it is. All on me.

"[Thank you Ratgirl Sumding for being my friend despite my reluctance to openly with you about my irrational fear of non-dairy creamer.

"Your friend,

"KWAK

"P.S. Please don't post this letter on your blog as it is personal in nature and the information contained therein is private between friends.]"

Fenk yu, KWAK, fur yur nise ledurs. Ime gwad wee iz gitting too nose eche uddur so weel.

Iff'n dere iz uddur papur peepuls owit dere woo wud likes too comint own KWAK's leddur, pweez wite mee et de adriss eye kepe gibing yu peepuls butt knowbuddy luks et.

Lubs end wages,

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl Sumding (furmerly Rattus)